Other Sexy Novelty Acts From The 2000s Deserve A Place In Government, Too

In the interest of fairness, the Mocha Girls should bring their peers into public service.

by Philbert Dy, art by Andrew Panopio

Recently, it was reported that President Duterte intends to appoint more members of the Mocha Girls to positions in government. This statement came following the much-ballyhooed appointment of the Mocha Girls founder and spiritual leader Mocha Uson to the Presidential Communications Operations Office. There has been plenty of uproar online directed at the Mochanization of the Philippine government, much of it questioning the qualifications of these professional tittelators.

 

 

But to write them off purely for the nature of the work that brought them into prominence is small-minded. If anything, what’s really troubling about these recent appointments is that the government seems to be showing favoritism. It certainly isn’t the place of government to decide that one sexy novelty act from the 2000s is more deserving of the opportunity to serve the Filipino people over the others. And so, we must look to the contemporaries of the Mocha Girls, and see how they may contribute to the betterment of our nation.

 

The SexBomb Girls

 

Not to slight the Mocha Girls, but in terms of sheer popularity and impact, they don’t come anywhere close to The SexBomb Girls, who are billed as “The Best Selling All-Female Group in the Philippines of All Time.” For years, they were an integral part of Eat Bulaga, and this likely means they have at least some experience dealing with politicians. After all, they likely rubbed elbows on a regular basis with Senator Tito Sotto, who was sure to have spent all his time with them delivering vital lessons about civic service.

 

Recommended Post: One of the group’s hits had them asking “Bakit, Papa?” This of course makes them uniquely qualified to join the ranks of the DSWD.

 

The Viva Hot Babes

 

Maui Taylor, Katya Santos, Gwen Garci, Andrea del Rosario, and a slew of then up-and-coming Viva talents banded together to sing Lito Camo songs that were all, in one way or another, about doing filthy things to each other. The Hot Babes were basically a means of lauching whatever sexy talent Viva had in their roster before sending them out to bare skin in one of their movies. Sadly, the sexy movie industry kind of died out at around the same time, and a lot of these careers didn’t pan out. This is where the government must step in and show its compassion: save the Hot Babes, government. Give them jobs.

 

Recommended Post: Given their contributions to euphemistically talking about sex and body parts involved in sex, the Viva Hot Babes could find a nice home in the Department of Health. Alternatively, since they sang so enthusiastically about flowers, maybe the DENR would be a good fit.

 

The Masculados

 

And let us not forget that not every sexy novelty act from the 2000s was composed of just women. The brainchild of film director Maryo J. de los Reyes, the Masculados struck a blow for gender equality by also marching out on stages in various stages of undress, singing songs filled with thinly-veiled references to sexual acts. The 2000s were a weird time.

 

Recommended Post: The Masculados seemed to be mostly concerned with finding out if people had the capacity to consume Jumbo Hotdogs. Having shown their interest in feeding the Filipino people, they deserve a seat at the Department of Agriculture.