The Rogue Recap takes a look back at the good, the bad, and the bizarre of the past week in the realms of entertainment, politics, culture, and society. In this week’s edition:
Jesus saves; Jesus might also get you killed
Over 800 devotees of the Black Nazarene were reported to have sustained injuries during the annual Traslacion from Quirino Grandstand to Quiapo Church, according to the Philippine Red Cross. An estimated 1.15 million people participated in the procession, which began at 5 AM on January 9, Tuesday, and ended the following morning at 3 AM. Majority of the injured suffered from minor afflictions such as fatigue, vomiting, and lacerations. Meanwhile, 127 people suffered major injuries, including fainting, fractures, and seizures. Thankfully no fatalities were reported, but we’re going to try our luck again next year, as this impractical and potentially dangerous celebration faces no major criticism from the same government that kind of banned firecrackers last week.
ICYMI: yeah, celebrities aren’t the best at protesting
The 75th annual Golden Globe Awards saw black comedy Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri and drama miniseries Big Little Lies taking home the most awards, with four trophies each. The ceremony became an avenue for the nominated and invited guests to protest against what the continuing effects of what has become known as the Weinstein effect. Attendees wore black as a sign of support to those who have been affected by widespread sexual assault within the film and television industries. Cecil B. DeMille Award recipient Oprah Winfrey also delivered an empowering, hopeful speech in support of the cause. This led some people (including host Seth Meyers) to half-jokingly endorse Oprah as a presidential candidate, proving once again that the Golden Globes are great at getting celebrities drunk, but not nearly drunk enough.
Plans to create the ultimate K-pop group underway
The first inter-Korean talks in two years were held earlier this week. Delegations from both North Korea and South Korea agreed to ease military tensions between the two countries, and agreed to hold more talks in the near future. Though the North expressed discontent at discussions of denuclearization, it has promised to send a full delegation to Pyeongchang for the 2018 Winter Olympics. This delegation will include a cultural performance troupe, a taekwondo demonstration group, and a cheering squad. We don’t want to ruin the budding friendship between the two Koreas, but we would advise the South to hide their boy bands. You can’t let them have your boy bands.
♫ And I ran, I ran so far away ♫
After a week of civil unrest allegedly started by foreign agents over Iran’s economy, the Iranian government has decided to ban English lessons in all primary schools. Though English instruction in Iran normally doesn’t start until the seventh grade, this ban is expected to affect private schools, where English lessons may start earlier. Iranian government officials have called the English language a gateway to cultural invasion by the West. They argue that the language interferes with the teaching of Iranian culture to young students. We understand. After hearing the entirety of the United States of America call you “EYE-ran” for decades, take as long as you need, Iran.
Quit playing games with my mental health
The World Health Organization (WHO) plans on officially declaring video game addiction as a mental disorder. The institution explains that video games tend to be very reinforcing due to the way they are designed to provide instant gratification. However, WHO’s current stance on video games does not yet include prescriptions on how to address or cure this addiction. Many academics have protested strongly against WHO’s statements, expressing concern at how this declaration may stigmatize players and professional gamers. It may also affect the gaming industry, which has begun to devote more and more time to experimenting with the therapeutic and psychological benefits of video games. We are currently inclined to side with the objecting academics, so long as everyone forgets that Pokémon Go ever happened. Let the past die. Kill it if you have to.