The reboot will be televised

Inspired by Riverdale, here are other childhood classics that need to be modernized asap.

by Jonty Cruz, art by Andrew Panopio
Over the last several years, mainstream cinema has been dominated by recycled—we mean reimagined—interpretations of one source material or another.

That trend has hit television, with the latest one being Riverdale, an edgier take on the beloved family-friendly comic, Archie.

In Riverdale, the classic characters get a modern “upgrade” that replaces the pearly white shine of the comics with a gloomier, Twilight-esque, aesthetic. The show is a combination of the typical teen drama, small town murder mystery, and the occasional Friday Night Lights riff with an indie rock soundtrack.

Despite mixed reviews, Riverdale has inspired us to dream of a world where every childhood favorite is given a more contemporary take. Forget the typical Saturday morning cartoon. If the recent history has taught us anything, the only thing Hollywood loves more than Hollywood is a reboot.

 

Dora the Explorer

No children’s show has been as popular as Dora the Explorer. For over a decade, it has charmed the hearts of children of all ages. And now it’s high time to transfer that success into a prime-time one-hour drama. This mature take is set in the recent future where the government has deemed it illegal for non-whites to be Americans. With no one else to help free her friends from the clutches of Homeland Security and Border Control, it is up to Dora to rescue Boots, Benny, and Diego and bring down the evil empire. But more than providing cultural relevance, what sets this show apart is the continuation of its audience participation as a narrative device. Now even adults can experience the joys and excitement of helping Dora as she tears down the cold concrete walls of fascism!

 

Dennis the Menace

Simply called Menace, this new politically charged drama explores the question of what would happen if the biggest brat in the world grew up to become the president of the United States. Completely based on imagination and far from a reflection of the world we live in today, this new show will provide a healthy dose of escapism at the very least, and at most, a warning of what could happen if we elect a chaotic and overly childish demagogue.

 

Calvin and Hobbes

After the tragic and unexplained death of his parents, Calvin suffers a mental breakdown as all signs point to him as suspect number one. Forced to live life on the run, Calvin’s only hope for innocence and finding the real killer lies with the mysterious Hobbes who may or may not be a figment of his imagination. In the vein of current television trends like Mr. Robot and Legion, this reinterpretation of the Bill Watterson’s comic promises to give a surrealist twist on the traditional crime drama and ruin the childhood of nerds everywhere.