That Alfred E. Neuman-like face commands your gaze after the punch line is delivered with the timing (deliberately?) nanoseconds off. An uneasy bellow leaves your lungs. Gary Lising, however, who’s pissed off more presidents in this humorless republic than any other comedian, doesn’t just want to split your sides—he wants you to blush a deep beet-red. CHAD RIALP challenges his composure as he sits down and cracks up with the funny man of Philippine stand-up

Photograph by Steve Tirona

I met Gary Lising, 64, at his home in Pasig city; a modest townhouse in a walled community next to a major highway. I was unceremoniously ushered into a living room decorated with a few odd pieces of local modern art, contemporary furniture, and a slew of family pictures—among which stood a photo of Lising sitting next to a smiling President Estrada. The main focal point of the room, however, was a massive big-screen television.

Gary Lising graduated from the Ateneo de Manila University in 1964 with a Bachelor of Science degree in Economics, though he admitted he had little use for it save for the fact that it came in handy when he opened his joke shop in Robinsons Galleria, now going on its fifteenth year. It was during his stint in college that he started in comedy, meeting future Champoy co-stars Noel Trinidad and Subas Herrero, and writing and staging skits and sketches for student audiences in a long series of Campus Concerts.

One of Gary’s friends offered him a job selling encyclopedias after college. Still a legend among Ateneo alumni for his sharp wit and tomfoolery, he opened his college yearbook and went down the list of his most affluent batchmates and gave them a ring. One by one, he sold encyclopedias to his former classmates and, according to Lising, did quite well. His customers were paying him the full amount in cash, as opposed to the usual credit installments, thus increasing his commission significantly. So significant, the U.S. office offered him a job in New York, where he trained to be an encyclopedia salesman. “But,” he admits, “that was not my cup of tea.”

He answered an ad in the paper: NBC was looking for a comic writer, and given his background at the time, he landed the job and found himself writing for The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson in 1968.
“I was a writer, not just for Johnny Carson, but for all of them,” Lising recounts. “Bob Hope . . . I know them personally. Sammy Davis. . . .”

What follows reads more like one of his many comedy routines, rather than a straight interview. It was difficult at times to distinguish fact from punch line amidst the bursts of laughter and outlandish anecdotes. Nevertheless, it does strike me to be an accurate portrayal of the man I grew up watching on television making the nation laugh.

ROGUE: What was your favorite anecdote about working for The Tonight Show?
GARY LISING: It was Christmas, and I wrote one story. You know that joke became a byword? Everybody was using it during Christmas time. It’s about the Three Kings. Somebody told them, you just follow the star, and when it stops, that’s where the Savior will be. So the star stopped, and below it was the manger.
So they all dismounted, bearing their gifts, frankincense and myrrh. . . . The first king went inside, and then the second king went in. When the third king was going in, he tripped and said, “Oh, Jesus Christ!” And then Joseph said, “You know, Mary, that’s a better name than Irving.” Irving Christ . . .
Johnny Carson was laughing his head off. And then Bob Hope used it in his Christmas sorties in the bases. That joke was so popular among all of them.

So all it took was one joke for them to remember you.
They will remember the joke. I did so many things. Most of them were rejected; they didn’t like it because they thought it might offend. Like, what did the guard say to Jesus when he dropped the cross for the third time? The guard said, “If you drop that cross once more, you’re out of the parade.” They liked it, but they were scared to show it.

How do you know that what you put on paper is going to be funny when it’s on the air?
It’s hit or miss. You make ten, and they take two. It’s O.K. Like with Johnny Carson, all of the writers bring in the newspapers, then all of us writers look for something so that your humor is updated. That’s it. Don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of good writers in NBC. Brilliant. But to me as a Filipino, kayang-kaya ko mga ‘to. You earn respect also.

How long were you in New York?
Eighteen years. I got married to the daughter of the former Ambassador to the United States, Ambassador Lopez. My former wife is Laura Lopez. She’s now working in the United Nations. She’s big time there. She’s very intelligent. She’s one of the bigwigs already.
But I wanted to a have kid, but she couldn’t. But we’re still good friends, so we decided to split up. I came back here as a balikbayan.
And then something happened: Imee Marcos asked me to write a sitcom for kids. And that encouraged me to stay here. So the offer was very good; she gave me a condominium in Makati. And the program became a hit: Kaluskus Musmus, have you heard of it? That was my idea and Johnny Manahan’s. Out of that program came superstars like Maricel Soriano, Herbert Bautista. Most of them are now big stars. It gave rise to 2+2 with Vic Sotto, Dina Bonnevie, Herbert [Bautista], marami.
And then I got married again here. That was the most joyous part of my life, when my wife got pregnant. Wow, puwede pa pala ako, eh. That was the most joyful day of my life. [Lising married Maris Paredes, a cousin of the Apo Hiking Society’s Jim Paredes. She gave birth to a son, Aaron Gary Lising, or Bugsy as his father fondly calls him.]

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