Dear aspiring professional writers of the Philippines,
We here at Rogue have decided to create a section devoted to publishing submissions from you guys. So to this end, we are ripping off McSweeney’s. We are admitting to it, because in this age of unmentioned yet obvious pegs, we prefer the honesty of simply saying that we did not come up with this idea. We have also decided to dubiously honor the memory of beloved writer Luis Katigbak by naming this completely unoriginal approach to web publishing after him.
Here’s what we are looking for: humorous pieces of writing in either English or Tagalog that do not go above 300 words. Why so short? Because one: this is the age of the Internet, and nobody reads anything anymore, and two: unlike McSweeney’s there will likely only be a couple of people sorting through all the submissions, and there is only so much time left in this life. Take it as a challenge: be sharp, be punchy, and as considerate of the time of our poor screeners as possible. Or take it as the boon that it is: that piece that you’ve been thinking about sending to McSweeney’s, but can’t seem to expand past 300 words? Send it to us! We’ll happily take it.
Send your submissions to email@example.com. The subject line should just be the title of the piece. The entirety of the text should be in the body of the email. We will not open any attachments.
Under your submission, post your relevant information in the following format, which we are literally copying and pasting from the McSweeney’s website:
My Funny Experience [story title]
By William Williams [author’s name]
(555) 555-5555 [phone number]
firstname.lastname@example.org [email address]
@wilywill [twitter handle, if you have one]
Please tell us if you do not want your Twitter handle to be published along with your piece.
Here’s a little wrinkle that sets us apart from McSweeney’s: we’re actually going to pay you. It admittedly won’t be much, but we promise that you will be compensated for your writing. And who knows? Maybe the brilliance of your wit will lead to further written commissions from us. We’re always looking for new, exciting voices to publish here at Rogue.
If you have any other questions, you might as well refer to the McSweeney’s website.
So come on, writers! Try your hand at creating some humor in these humorless times. Show us what you’ve got.